i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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