i think my tv is drunk
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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