Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My breath smells like gin and sadness
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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