just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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