Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
