Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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