So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
