i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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