i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
