Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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