He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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