i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
