I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
