No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
