he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
