Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
