just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
