I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Apparently you make a good broom.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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