I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
