Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

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(213): View more from California

How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

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(813): View more from Florida

Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist

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