Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  None he's f-d

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  (313): Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have (1-313): None he's f-d http://tfl.nu/3q7m
  Replies (14) Good night (929) Bad night (1976)
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  (925): View more from California

  tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.

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  (925): tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too. http://tfl.nu/05va
  Replies (12) Good night (2236) Bad night (780)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

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  (773): If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time. http://tfl.nu/xdpc
  Replies (14) Good night (4973) Bad night (836)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars

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  (608): so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars http://tfl.nu/jmti
  Replies (13) Good night (4814) Bad night (574)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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  (313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is
  Replies (8) Good night (1134) Bad night (6020)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

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  (509): Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint http://tfl.nu/0n30
  Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (4743)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just the budget?

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  (515): I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget... (316): Just the budget? http://tfl.nu/v45e
  Replies (4) Good night (4557) Bad night (1054)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead

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  (508): I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead http://tfl.nu/5uyo
  Replies (14) Good night (805) Bad night (2708)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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  (630): I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt http://tfl.nu/jrki
  Replies (10) Good night (2991) Bad night (755)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (947) Bad night (1266)
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  (310): View more from California

  Can we just ponder our lives for a second.

  (818): View more from California

  No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.

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  (310): Can we just ponder our lives for a second. (818): No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles. http://tfl.nu/vtnc
  Replies (8) Good night (2210) Bad night (908)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs

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  (970): Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs http://tfl.nu/ag8n
  Replies (6) Good night (862) Bad night (506)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina

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  (540): Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina http://tfl.nu/3vzn
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (356)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.

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  (785): Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/uwxb
  Replies (12) Good night (701) Bad night (1608)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.

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  (210): Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that. (682): Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude. http://tfl.nu/g9al
  Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (1023)

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