i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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