I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
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I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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