Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You're a waste of cheezeits
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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