I wish I could punch you in the face.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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