I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize