Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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