He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I would ride that face into the sunset
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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