I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
