The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
