Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
