He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize