Sry I called you an 8
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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