Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
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He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.