bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list