I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?