You smell like a Billy Joel song
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
