..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
