Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
