she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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