i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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