I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
this is an emotional support booty call
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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