small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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