...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize