i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
