Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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