Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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