I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
