i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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