The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
