drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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