So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize