Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize