I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
