I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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