Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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