I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
