I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
is wine microwaveable?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
