the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
