anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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