I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
